Know someone who is going to turn 50 or 60? Having an “Over The Hill” birthday party is an awesome idea! When my husband recently turned fifty you would have thought the world had ground to a halt. He thought he was “old.” So we played along with him! I organized a surprise “Over The Hill” fiftieth Birthday party for him and invited all of his friends from work and church. We had great food, awesome decorations, and at the end of the evening we sent all our guests home with cute little “Over The Hill” birthday party favors baskets that where the icing on the cake!

“Over the Hill” Birthday Party Favors“

Does your little princess just love the Bratz? Well give her a special treat and print out some printable Bratz coloring pages for her! There are many places on-line where they can be downloaded for free!

Free Printable Bratz Coloring Pages

I love OAMC (Once A Month Cooking).  It is so great to just pull something out of the freezer, pop it in the oven, and be able to casually unwind from my day while it cooks!  Contrary to popular belief, OAMC is not just for dinner.  I have made batches of soup and frozen them in individual portions to take to work for lunch.  When it comes to saving time and money nothing beats OAMC!

Follow these links to see my OAMC guide:

Easy OAMC Part 1 – Converting Family Favorites for Freezing
Your First Recipes and What Doesn’t Freeze Well

Easy OAMC Part 2 - Proper Preparation for Freezing
The Advantages to Freezing Foods

Easy OAMC Part 3 – Temperatures and Packaging
Maintaining Proper Temperatures and Using the Right Containers

Easy OAMC Part 4 – Freezing Techniques
How to Freeze Foods and What to Do If Your Freezer Fails

Last Christmas I watched my daughter put up the colored lights on the outside of our new house.  I looked at the home I have dreamed of all my life – and I suddenly got a sinking feeling in my stomach.  It all sort of hit me at once.  I wanted this Christmas to be PERFECT.  It just had to be perfect.  I NEEDED it to be perfect!

But then a funny thing happened.  As my daughter debated between red lights and green lights I thought of our electric bill instead of how beautiful it would all look.  later that night we built a fire in the fire place and as my son asked for hot chocolate I wondered when I would find the time, and money, to go holiday food shopping and how much it would cost to have a cord of wood delivered. 

I realized right then and there that those mortgage ads lie.

The tout home ownership as a rewarding, comforting, thing that will give you security.  Well we were living the life – we were sitting around the fire playing board games and toasting marshmallows to make ’smores with.  But the lady in the commercial version of our tender family moment didn’t walk into her laundry room during a commercial break and find the hot water tank leaking like I did.

Note to self: buy the home warranty next time.

*sigh*

All I want is a perfect life and a perfect family and to be perfectly happy.  Why is that too much to ask?  Where are the perfect family moments I was promised?

*sigh*

So I sip my hot chocolate and I reflect on my life these days.  We have the new car, the new house, and I just got a new laptop for my birthday.   I have a great job – really two great jobs.  Since I decided to pay down some debt I am working an extra job and devoting that money to debt reduction.  I am so responsible it makes me sick …..

Anyway, back to reflecting.  My life these days is a domestic whirl of baking, cleaning, house repairs and improvements, and getting my daughter ready for college.  I don’t see why she needs to think about college right now – after all she was only five years old yesterday.  As she drives off in my new car to meet her friends at the mall I have to fight the compulsion to tell her to lie down so I can check her diaper.

*sigh*

But I must admit – for all the pressures – life is good.  I worry about that perfection thing a lot though.  As Christmas approached I realized I had a great opportunity to really make our first Christmas in our very own home special.  But I only had one chance to make the decorations perfect, the pies perfect, the cookies perfect, and the dogs to sit in a row and howl – on key – to Jingle Bells – uh, on cue of course.

I wanted to believe in Santa again (though I never really did) and I wanted to have a snowball fight on Christmas morning on the front lawn with the kids.  Is that too much to ask?  (Did I mention we live in Texas?)

So what do we conclude from the mass of neuroses I have dredged up? 

Several things: 

1. First – I suspect I am not alone in my eternal quest for the perfect family moment. 
2. Second – I bet I am not alone in having two jobs either. 
3. Third – I am grateful, grateful, and more grateful for what I have.  God knows I am forever grateful for all he has blessed me with these last few years.

I think the best lesson we can take from all of this is that we are all human – and humans don’t always focus on what they should – so don’t beat yourself up about everything. 

After all – I have what everyone who was honest with themselves would admit they wanted – two great children who don’t smoke, drink, sneak out the window at night, sass me, hit me, take drugs, party, have sex, and dress like the walking dead or cover themselves with morbid tattoos.  I have the home I always wanted – not just a house – but a home.  A home filled with people who love each other and love spending time with each other.  I have one best friend, several close friends and a lot of good friends!  I have a wonderfully supportive Church family I care deeply about. I have my health.

As I pull out a pen and start making a grocery list I keep reminding myself – this is the life I always wanted.  I can relax (a bit) now.  Everything worth having comes with some pressure.  The perfect family moments will come and go – they will just be surrounded by not so perfect moments. My quest for perfection is a futile one.   Good enough is sometimes just good enough and we don’t really need perfection! 

Note to self:  Allow yourself to do the best you can – and leave it at that!

With the majority of households these days having two wage earners children are getting less and less of their parents time and attention.  Forget quality time – they are getting leftover time!  Now, more than ever, it is important to make time for family fun and togetherness. 

My daughter and I are practically inseparable as we have always had so many interests in common.  It is my son who gets left alone most of the time. I started instituting a family date night and it has worked wonders! 

If you have a single parent household you can include everyone in the family or rotate each child so they are all singled out for special attention.  I have a friend who used to watch my children for me when I took the other one out on a date.  Now that they are older they are fine spending time alone when I am out with the other one.

If you have a two parent household you can do what we did when we first started.  We had a weekly date night, but it could easily be done monthly as well.  Each parent took one child and had their date night with them.  The next time we switched kids (I only have two kids!) the third time we would all be together.  As the children got older we started adding in a fourth night where the kids went together somewhere and the parents went alone.  That way we worked in a little time for US too!

When people decide they want to try and work in the time to make a family date night happen they are often set back by the perceived cost of the date night.  Spending time together does not have to cost an arm and a leg.  In fact, if you split up into two “teams” you can make it a game to see who can have the most fun while still spending the least amount of money.

Here is an idea of how a low cost date night with my son usually went:

1. We got a few rolls of nickles ($2 each) and went to the nickle arcade.
2. We would use a B1G1 free meal coupons to eat dinner.
3. We would walk around the mall and “buy” things for each other. We would pick up an item and say “I would buy this for you!” and then give it to the other person who would oooh and aaaah – say thanks – and then put it back!
4. Finally we would see a movie at the dollar theater and sneak in our own snacks – but we would buy a drink there!  If you are totally against sneaking in snacks – I understand!  Just go to the movie directly after dinner and you won’t need snacks!  We have done that too!

The whole evening usually cost about $20 and we got lots of mileage out of it!

Now that my daughter is spending more and more time with her friends and her boyfriend I am thinking of planning a special night at home with my son while she is out.

Here is a list of some of the things I am planning:

1. I let him pick out a recipe in a cookbook that he wants to make (he loves to cook).
2. We eat the snack we baked while we watch a movie we rent.  He loves to snuggle in the overstuffed chair and watch movies.
3. Then we can make crafts (I have an ungodly store of supplies!) and talk for a while.

The object is not to spend a lot of money but to spend time actually getting to know the other person.  In the case of my son, he just loves to talk and share stories.  And talk.  Did I mention he loves to talk?  In the past we have even had a great time just walking four or five blocks to the store to get milk. Last time I fell on the way back and hurt my knee and he acted all concerned and wanted to carry me home (can you say hernia!?). Next time he claims we are taking “the bikes” – only I don’t have one – just he does! So he will ride and I will walk apparently!

Lately my son has become engrossed in puzzles – you know – the kind with pieces that you put together? He and his sister just finished putting a huge one together last night. We got them at the dollar store so they got over a weeks worth of entertainment for a dollar!  They have a third one that they will probably be starting soon. He just begs for me to sit and help him. I can’t stand doing that for too long so I usually help for a while and then read or work on the computer while he puts the puzzle together and we talk.  Or more accurately he talks and I listen.

My daughter just came up with a great idea the other day! We have a ton of camping gear but have not been able to get to the lake this year.  She wants to set up a camp site in our back yard. We have a huge 8 person tent (the kind with three rooms) and a stove – so much stuff! That would be fun with just one kid – or the whole family!  We plan to get out the blow up pool and splash around a bit, grill whatever I find in the chest freezer, and have a great time! 

My son like to go to the park to walk, skate, skate board, bike, and talk. He also like to see the prairie dog display (a small family of prairie dogs in a pen).

Some times it is not a matter of them joining you in a pursuit but of you just entering their world and joining them in what they were going to do – like the puzzle, riding bikes, throwing a basketball or football, or drawing pictures of dragons!

So, as you can see, there are many things you can do to spend time together without spending a bunch of money!  In the end the truth is that the time spent together is what is important, not what you do together.  The bonds of closeness will remain long after the pictures of the camping trip and the skateboarding park have long since faded.  Don’t let the fear of cost prevent you from making memories that last a lifetime with your family!  Plan a family date night today!

A borrowing group is a circle of friends or relatives who have banded together to share resources and collectively save money.  For instance, if I have a pool, you have a roto-tiller, and our neighbor has a grill we can get together and agree that if we each let the others use our possessions (according to a predetermined set of guidelines) we can borrow each others items as needed.  In essence, we ALL have a pool, a roto-tiller and a grill we can use.  Call it “possession timeshares” if you will.

 So why buy new?  Borrow instead!

Here are the basic steps for setting up your own borrowing circle:

1. Get together a list of like minded individuals, ideally centrally located to each other, that are willing to pitch in an item to lend.
2. Make a list of items each person would be willing to lend as well as items they may be looking to borrow – a “lend list” and a “wish list” if you will.  Often looking at another members wish list will remind someone that they have a staple gun they haven’t used in years  but would be willing to offer for trading!
3. Determine what your particular groups guidelines are going to be.  Understand and agree that as your group evolves you will need to update your guidelines to address situations that arise.  You may also come to a point where you will need to cap the number of members in your group or create a spin off group.
4. Get together and hammer out the details of your group.  Things to address include time limits for borrowing items, the number of items a member can borrow at a time, what to do if an item is damaged lost or stolen, when and how often group meetings will be held, what to do if a member borrows but is never able to lend when asked, whether you will charge a token membership fee or dues to cover the cost of meetings, etc.
5. Group leaders may be elected or appointed (or may appoint themselves when they are the original members of the group!) and a political infrastructure as complex or simple as you desire may be implemented.  Positions may include a group secretary, Treasurer, President, Vice President, and Event Coordinator, etc.

The important thing to remember is that this can be a beneficial experience for all involved if you all realize that you are dealing with fallible humans who may disagree from time to time.  Take that into consideration when you admit members to your group and you decide on the first few possessions of yours to offer fellow members.

A well run group can save its members hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in the course of  a year!  Start small, go slowly, and enjoy the financial benefits as well as the many friendships you will make along the way!

How big of a raise do you want?  Five percent?  Ten Percent?  More?  Don’t wait for your boss to give you one - give yourself one – today!  We all want more money so that we can afford more of the things we need.  If you can grasp one simple concept you can accomplish that goal quite simply and effectively give yourself a raise, and a higher standard of living!

Here is the concept;  If I have $1 and I go to the store to buy a can of peas which are $1 each - I can buy one can of peas.  If I get a raise – say they doubled my salary this week -  then I now have $2 to buy cans of peas.  I can now get two cans of peas, instead of just one.  My increase in wage has raised my standard of living and allowed me to have more “buying power” which is the ability to purchase a set amount of goods.

When you think of it – we all want more buying power, not more money.  We just think that getting more money will give us what we really want – more buying power.

But what if I didn’t get a raise this week and I still want two cans of peas?  I buy them for fifty cents a piece.  There are a number of techniques; coupons, sales, coupons and sales combined, discount bins, warehouse foods, etc. – but that is not the real point here.

The point is that I have not, in fact, gotten a raise.  But if I find everything that I want at a discount (equal to the amount of the raise I want) I have effectively raised my purchasing power to the level of the salary that I want.  Because, as we have previously discussed, I want the buying power of the larger salary – any way I can get it!  Now not everything can be found at a discount – electricity for example.  Once you  have found the lowest rate you can negotiate for yourself in your area you won’t ever find your utility provider having a “Buy one kilowatt get one kilowatt free” sale.  You only recourse in this situation is to lower consumption.  No matter how you do it though – you will still get more bang for the same buck.   You also won’t have to pay income taxes on that extra buying power – so this is really a tax free raise!

So let me rephrase the question I asked earlier:  How big of a raise in purchasing power do you want?  Five percent?  Ten Percent?  More?  Most people would be happy with a five percent raise.  If you make $30,000 a year that is an increase of $1,500!  So to give yourself an extra $1,500 a year all you would have to do is find everything you buy discounted by 5%.  This is not only a very realistic goal, but it is easily doable even to the most uninitiated beginner!

Now granted, some costs can not easily be lowered.  Your mortgage payment would be an example of something not easily lowered.  But even fixed costs like these can be renegotiated, if feasible, to help lower expenses.

Here are some ideas for lowering fixed costs:

1. Look into refinancing you mortgage.
2. Revisit your car insurance policy with your agent and see if raising your deductible can shave off a few dollars.  Find out if there are any deducts they offer, like  for members of certain organizations or if you take a special safety course or install a theft deterrent device on your vehicle.
3. Adjust life insurance limits if the kids are now on their own or the mortgage is paid off.  Remember, life insurance is to help the people you leave behind deal with the debt you leave behind.  If that burden has decreased your coverage can too!  Find out if there are any circumstances that would lower your premium, like quitting smoking.  Not only would you save the money you spend on cigarettes but your premium could go down!
4. Speak to your insurance agent and find out if they give a discount for multiple policies.  If you have your home owners and flood insurance or even car insurance at the same company they often give ten or fifteen percent multi-policy discounts!
5. Check to see if your mortgage balance is 80% or less than the current value of your home.   If it is you can then drop your PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance) and save big!  The Homeowners Protection Act, which became effective in 1999, requires lenders to spell out at closing and once a year how to terminate PMI.  Check with your lender for details.
6. Take a look at your cable bill and see if you are really watching all the channels you originally signed up for.  Changing to a smaller package can lower your bill considerably.
7. Switching to a different Internet provider and bundling several services together often saves tons of money too.  Watch for a promotion that fits the things you use (like cable, Internet and home phone) and switch to save!
8. Call your credit card companies and negotiate a lower interest rate.  If you have been a long time customer they will more likely than not lower your rate to keep you as a customer.

The most important thing to realize is that during this process you are not depriving yourself of anything!  You are in fact trying to get more – you are only trying to pay less for it.  So don’t think of it as deprivation – think of it as a game!  How much can I get for the same amount of money?  Adding quality to your life is the goal.  Freeing up money to spend in areas that will make you the most happy is the goal. 

Maybe you can ditch the second job with this strategy.  Now wouldn’t THAT add quality to your life?  THAT is the idea here.  getting rid of the things that do not matter TO YOU so that you can indulge in more of the things that do matter TO YOU!

Everyone will have a different frugal journey.  I may love eating out.  So I may decide that I can live without cable TV to get a few more meals out every month.  Or I may funnel my savings into other areas that add value for me like renting videos or saving for a cruise to Alaska.  Whatever you decide is important TO YOU is what you should save for and spend on.

Contrary to popular belief frugality is not purely about delayed gratification and deprivation.  It is about channeling your available resources ONLY into those areas that have meaning and value FOR YOU.  You are in essence building a life where every penny you have is only spent on things that make you happier, more fulfilled!  This is what frugality is all about!  Frugality is about giving yourself a raise and living a more fulfilling life – now who can argue with that!

We often forget that the simplest things can help make or break our frugal journey.  Take cornbread for example.  I haven’t made it in a long time – but I made some this morning.  Now I am wondering why I stopped making it so often.  It is cheap, easy, fast, tasty, and so very versatile!  These are all the foundations of a frugal food!!

Now sure, there is beans and cornbread – but what about chili?  Or stew?  or just any old leftover plopped on top of a steaming buttery square of cornbread?  It would turn something plain into a real treat!  If you don’t want to make it from scratch you can buy those little boxes of mix for 2 or 3 for a dollar and keep them on hand.

You can use corn bread as a replacement for:

1. Toasted white bread
2. Biscuits
3. Noodles
4. Pasta
5. Rice
6. Mashed potatoes
7. etc.

When your “usual everyday” is starting to get on your nerves give cornbread a try!  Learning to think outside the box saves money, time – and can be very tasty!

Here is my favorite cornbread recipe:

Corn Bread

Ingredients:

• 1 c. all-purpose flour  
• 1 c. fine cornmeal  
• 3/4 c. brown sugar  
• 1/2 t. salt  
• 3/8 t. baking soda  
• 1 large egg, beaten  
• 1/2 c. buttermilk  1/2 c. sour cream    

Method

Preheat oven to 450. Grease well a 8×8x2-inch pan; set aside. Sift into mixing bowl first five ingredients; add remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour into prepared pan. Bake for 20 minutes.

How many of us haven’t dreamed of winning the lottery?  I know I have.  But while winning the lottery remains one of my top secret fantasies (or not so secret now!) I remain fully aware that more money is not always the first answer to every problem I have.  Until I know what to do with what I have, more will disappear like what I have now does.  Learning the principles of sound financial stewardship is the key to success during times of “more” or “less.”

To grasp this concept more fully, lets imagine I have a bucket with a small bit of sand in it which is slowly leaking out of a hole in the bottom of the bucket.  If I put more sand in the leaking bucket it will drain out the same hole that the original sand did.  The only difference is that it will just take a bit longer to drain out.  Until we learn to plug up the holes in our buckets there is no use trying to get more sand to put in it.  It is an exercise in futility, and just plain stupid.

Before we take that second job – or look for ways to bring in more money – we need to make sure all the holes in our buckets are plugged.

What constitutes a hole?  Anything that is a steady drain on our finances.  Most of them are unconscious habits that ceased adding value to our lives long ago. 

Some examples are:

1. Magazine subscriptions
2. Starbucks
3. Cigarettes
4. Eating out
5. Lottery tickets 
6. Memberships in organizations we are no longer active in
7. Paid membership in video rental clubs
8. Web site memberships we no longer use
9. Expenses for hobbies we no longer really enjoy

The list will be different for everyone.  I have always cringed when people say write down everything you spend for a week, or a month, or a pay period.  But in reality – if spending has become unconscious – that may very well be the only way to become mindful again.  You always hear people say, “I never realized how much I spent on ‘X’ until I wrote everything down.”  I don’t think there is a person alive that is not engaged on some level in unconscious purchasing of some sort.

We need to be aware of what we do with what we have.  The fact is that ”more” will just go the same place as “less” did and we will be forever filling a bucket that will never be full, and always leaking our time, energy, and money.  Once you have mastered the art of plugging holes you will find that what you have goes alot further and the universe just may start trusting you with more!